Many people are searching for a soul mate, searching for love. They chase the perfect partner, someone who fills an empty space in their heart. They long for someone who knows them inside out and loves them unconditionally, till death do us part.

I used to be one of those people, wishing for love at first sight, for someone who gets me, for someone I can be myself around. I used to long for the perfect partner. But I’m no longer looking for one, and it isn’t because I’ve found her.

Over the past few years I have attended around half a dozen weddings. Some have been in spectacular cathedrals, while one overlooked the beach. There were many other differences in each wedding, but always something in common.

The couple were always happy together. They made a commitment under God and in front of all the witnesses joyfully, like it was meant to be, as though they’re perfect together.

Since the couples married I have of course stayed in touch. We’ve had bacon and eggs for breakfast, home cooked dinners, family gatherings, random meetings in the shops and even food fights. And they still seem to fit perfectly.

But unfortunately that is not the case. As I got to know the couples on a deeper level they revealed struggles and conflicts. No one in this world is perfect, not even the picture perfect couple.

The illusion of the perfect couple is broken.

My perfect partner is not out there. She doesn’t exist. I could look forever and never find her. And even though books, television and movies make it seem like happily ever after does exist, it simply doesn’t.

I haven’t stopped looking, but I have changed what I’m looking for, and it revolves around Christ. Instead of the many requirements for the perfect girl, I only have three questions for the Godly girl.

Do you love Christ? Do you reflect Christ? Do you chase Christ?

Of course many other factors will come into the equation, but these three answers will matter most. I want my girl to reflect her love for Christ with her actions and always seek to know him better.

These will be my questions for her, but also my questions for me. If I want to find the right answers in someone else, I must also expect to find the right answers in myself. And so the responsibility also sits on me to reflect my love for Christ with my actions and always seek to know him better.

My soul mate exists, but I will only ever find a less than perfect partner.

No, you didn’t read that wrong, I believe in soul mates, I have found my soul mate.

A soul mate is someone who knows you inside out and still loves you with perfect love. A soul mate lives in your heart and redeems your soul from death.

That person is Jesus Christ. He is my soul mate, and it is only with him that my heart finds peace. He comes first in any relationship of mine.